Words - Not Now

Just put some on the page.  Break the seal.  Let em flow.

It's strange how much I've changed over the past month.  I was so full of words they practically oozed out of my ears.  I couldn't stop the words from filling my head constantly.

Now-

I have fewer words filling my head, cluttering my existence.  Let me tell you - it's bringing a lot more peace to my life. 

How-

Do I shut down the incessant stream of words running, running, running through my brain?  It's pretty simple, actually.  I do two things:
1) Stop    2) Pay attention

1) Stop - This means I stop my unconscious reactions.  I've conducted some research into what responses are negative to me.  I also have had to uncover what triggers these responses.  Now that I know, when I find myself close to a negative response, I can stop.  I shut down my normal reaction. 

How?  By focusing on what I'm sensing at the moment.

2) Pay attention - This means that after I stop, I immediately focus on my physical being.  I pay attention to all of the automatic systems in my body - breathing, blood flow, movements, etc.  I also key into my emotions.  We experience our emotions through physical sensations.

Emotions are what they are.  I'm working on not judging myself for the emotions I am experiencing.  Instead I just pay attention to them.  It's like I'm just taking note of them.  When I pay attention to the physical experience of the emotion, it immediately shuts off the flow of words.  The words normally carry judgments.

Once I've stopped and paid attention I am then ready to act.  I have broken the ineffective cycle of negative thought and negative response.

Why -

Would I feel the need to shut off my thoughts?  Because those thoughts are destructive.  They keep me trapped in a vicious cycle of negative thoughts, negative reactions.  I'm like Pavlov's dog, salivating at every bell I've conditioned myself to respond to.  It's exhausting.

Actually, not so much any more.  I'm still a work in progress,

but,
every day
I'm
BETTER

at focusing on the NOW.  That is the only time frame I can impact.  I can't change the past, and I can't travel to the future.  Doing what is better for me at this moment will undoubtedly make my future better. 

I can only get to the future  (and reach my goals) one NOW at a time.

Now - There Is Nothing Else

I attended a course on biopsychology taught by The Movement's Frankie Faires this past weekend.  It consisted of two days filled with with listening, absorbing, reflecting, testing, connecting, disconnecting, growing, learning, unlearning, and on and on.

Many lessons swirl around my head at different times, but the one aspect that is the recipient of my attention this week is the power of NOW.

NOW is the only entity we truly have.  Everything else is only a memory of what happened or anticipation of what's to come.  I cannot do anything about either of those.  The events of my past only live on in my memories and my associations to these memories. 

The future is uncertain, and focusing on it, worrying about it, only robs me of the one moment I am certain of - NOW.

What I've already found in a few short days since the biopsych course is that paying attention to the current moment and asking "What can I do now?" changes all my decisions, my actions, and my thoughts. 

How? 

By getting me to slow down my reaction times.  That one change changes the response, the outcome. 

How many times have you jumped to a conclusion about a person or their motives in a split second?  Every day?  Me too.  If you stop yourself from thinking about the past with that person and instead focus on the right now, your usual reaction will change.

Instead of remembering how that person has behaved in the past or how you feel about that person, focus on the moment you are in.  Pretend you've lost all memories of that person.  How does that change your reaction to him/her?

Memories can only hurt us now if we don't change our associations with them.

So, this is just a nugget of what I'm working on - focusing on right now, this moment.  LMK if you have thoughts or questions.

------------------------------------

After a full day of teaching and meetings today, I went to the gym.  I could have easily gone home.  Before starting my car in the parking lot, I asked myself, "Can I do this now?"  The answer - Yes.  I drove to the gym, changed clothes, and went into the training room.

I started testing movements.  Which movements could I do now?  DL, Swings, Burpees, Split Squats.  Cool.  The same drills I did last week. 

I did the same 350 reps workout as below.  Today, I moved the same weight, the same number of reps in 20 minutes, 10 seconds.  That's over 2 minutes faster than last time. 

Seeing a correlation?  I am.

Field of Dreams

"If you build it, they will come."

Actually -

If you move it, PRs will come. 

I'm blown away by how quickly I've made progress once I got my body moving.

I've added 20 lbs. to my deadlift in the past week.  I've been moving more weight and spending more time under load. 

I'm out there, Jerry, and I'm lovin' it!

Seeing the PRs on paper is so rewarding.  I'm glad I keep a log.  If you don't, you need to.  How else can you track your progress?  If you don't see progress, how can you stay motivated?

Here's what I did today.

350 Reps Workout
I did 7 movements, 50 reps of each, and timed how long it took me.  The next time I do this workout, I can see if I complete the 350 reps in less time.  When I do, I'll feel the satisfaction of being better.

Split Squat - Right - 24 kg
Split Squat - Left - 24 kg
Burpees with Jump Up
Sumo DL - 150 lbs.
Ab Chopper
Swing - Right - 24 kg
Swing - Left - 24 kg

Time to complete - 22 min. 20 seconds

I live in Iowa, a state covered in fields.  The most beautiful field, however, is the one I am cultivating, planting, and harvesting of my own.  It's called "Amy."