Words - Not Now

Just put some on the page.  Break the seal.  Let em flow.

It's strange how much I've changed over the past month.  I was so full of words they practically oozed out of my ears.  I couldn't stop the words from filling my head constantly.

Now-

I have fewer words filling my head, cluttering my existence.  Let me tell you - it's bringing a lot more peace to my life. 

How-

Do I shut down the incessant stream of words running, running, running through my brain?  It's pretty simple, actually.  I do two things:
1) Stop    2) Pay attention

1) Stop - This means I stop my unconscious reactions.  I've conducted some research into what responses are negative to me.  I also have had to uncover what triggers these responses.  Now that I know, when I find myself close to a negative response, I can stop.  I shut down my normal reaction. 

How?  By focusing on what I'm sensing at the moment.

2) Pay attention - This means that after I stop, I immediately focus on my physical being.  I pay attention to all of the automatic systems in my body - breathing, blood flow, movements, etc.  I also key into my emotions.  We experience our emotions through physical sensations.

Emotions are what they are.  I'm working on not judging myself for the emotions I am experiencing.  Instead I just pay attention to them.  It's like I'm just taking note of them.  When I pay attention to the physical experience of the emotion, it immediately shuts off the flow of words.  The words normally carry judgments.

Once I've stopped and paid attention I am then ready to act.  I have broken the ineffective cycle of negative thought and negative response.

Why -

Would I feel the need to shut off my thoughts?  Because those thoughts are destructive.  They keep me trapped in a vicious cycle of negative thoughts, negative reactions.  I'm like Pavlov's dog, salivating at every bell I've conditioned myself to respond to.  It's exhausting.

Actually, not so much any more.  I'm still a work in progress,

but,
every day
I'm
BETTER

at focusing on the NOW.  That is the only time frame I can impact.  I can't change the past, and I can't travel to the future.  Doing what is better for me at this moment will undoubtedly make my future better. 

I can only get to the future  (and reach my goals) one NOW at a time.