My psychological state has been funky for awhile. As a result, my physical training isn't where I want to be. Nothing tests well. I have zero desire to train. I keep looking at the weeks ahead and see the trips, activities, and obligations that are going to limit my training time.
This was all on my mind as I traveled to the gym today. I tested about 12 drills, and a handful tested a smidge better than baseline. I started with the drill that tested best - snatches. 12 kg tested better than 16 or 20kg, so I started a timer and snatched.
At first my goal was to go nonstop for 5 minutes. Just see how many I could do without setting the bell down. I actually felt so good at 5, I went for 7, then 8, and finally stopped at 10 minutes. I've never gone that long without setting the bell down.
Snatch - 12 kg - 10 minutes
220 snatches - no stopping
After that I dinked around with headstands. Not good. No balance. Back to testing. Rows, squats, and hindu pushups were better than baseline, so I decided to do some of those.
Rows - 20 kg - 8 minutes
Left - 35 reps
Right - 35 reps
-I seem to be moving up with rows quite nicely.
After the rows, I felt a little better. I just didn't have the drive to do anymore. Then, someone entered the room where I train to do some ab work. Divine inspiration. I couldn't fink out when someone was in the room. So, I did a circuit of squats and hindu pushups.
Circuit - 8 minutes
Suitcase Squats - 20 kg - 80 reps
Hindu Pushups - 37 reps
Why is it that I'd do more work when I thought someone else might see me quitting, but I wouldn't do more work when I was the only one who knew I'd be quitting. That is indicative of my state. Well, inspiration came when I needed it. I did the work. However, after reflecting, I realize that inspiration won't always come. My drive to be better is the only true inspiration.
Tomorrow I will turn 39. The last year in my thirties. Here is a picture of me at the beginning of my thirties. You can see from my profile pic how I look today. My thirties were a decade of big changes. I am better now than I was then, without a doubt. And, it's not just physically. I am smarter and stronger and know what I want. I don't ever wish to go back to thirty. I'm looking forward to all the next years have in store.